it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You pole danced in your parka.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
