just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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