you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize