do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize