You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I would fuck him just for his dog
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