I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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