I'm gonna have a badass scar
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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