you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
