He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
