You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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