She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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