Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
