And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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