So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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