I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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