Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I will be naked everywhere
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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