If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
