Having a random hookup so left but love u
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize