it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
