I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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