I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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