so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize