R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
