i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
