How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
