I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
