I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
