The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
