we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize