We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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