Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize