That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
