In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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