I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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