My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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