Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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