So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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