Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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