I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
