can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
