C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
