Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
