Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
