I don't usually arrange sex via text message
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
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