I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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