no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
