New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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