dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
