are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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