she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
