he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
