Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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