last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I love having hate sex.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
