Your tits are I can't wait for
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
