i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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