I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
