It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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