i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
