Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
