yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
