She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
