We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
